Post on @Quora by @jzdevs: Odd-Even Pizza Marries Wannabe Writer!?! — The Biggest Delhi NCR Meetup (23 April, 201…
Post by Jasdev Singh:
Odd-Even Pizza Marries Wannabe Writer!?! — The Biggest Delhi NCR Meetup (23 April, 2016)
Post on @Quora by @jzdevs: Odd-Even Pizza Marries Wannabe Writer!?! — The Biggest Delhi NCR Meetup (23 April, 201…
Post by Jasdev Singh:
Odd-Even Pizza Marries Wannabe Writer!?! — The Biggest Delhi NCR Meetup (23 April, 2016)
This is the first poem ever written by me, dedicated to the victims of Peshawar attacks.
She finished her milk and dreaded the day,
crying out in dismay.
Let me stay home, please. I’ll be no trouble to you.
The usual tentativeness, the doe-eyed look,
was all but known to mother.
The lady kissed the warm forehead of her precious jewel,
Go to school and study well,
and I’ll buy you a pasty or two.
Making a face, she slouches towards the bus,
bidding her adieu, her school bag in tow.
Closing her eyes and cupping her hands,
Oh Allah ! Just this time, she prays.
Looking out of the window,
she finds her wish granted,
Some vehicles have stopped by her school building.
The grim reapers apparate,
and enter the temple built by the teachers,
for worshipping knowledge,
learning things far off,
solving equations, and
memorizing geographical terrains.
They barge inside the classroom,
pitiless masks inciting terror,
and light a fire to Miss Kausar.
The math homework left uncorrected by the teacher.
Screams muffled by gunshots,
songs in the auditorium get cut short.
The school function saw it’s culmination,
with bodies feasted upon,
and gore squirted like wine.
Blood gushing from her own head,
she falls to the ground,
her scream echoing her mother,
and joins the young militia,
In their glory unbound.
The mother stood at the door,
the pasty scattered on the floor.
White as a sheet, lips quivering
tears trickling down her eyes,
television blaring, the telephone ringing.
Jihad, the screen flashed
Her heart sinks, and she lets out a moan
The murder of her child is being called Jihad,
When jihad was feeding her daughter her own piece of bread,
Reading her stories, helping her with homework,
Putting butterfly clips in her hair,
and crowning her a princess.
Her squealing with delight while getting ice creams,
bathing her with her favourite soap and eau de cologne.
But this bath shall be the last bath of her dear baby,
Alas ! The true jihad had wavered, while the false prevailed.
Banging her wrists on the door,
she slides down to the floor,
lamenting her loss, regretting her decision,
for sending her little girl to school.
To read, learn and be a true Jihadi.
P.S Jihad literally means the spiritual struggle within oneself against sin, and taking out peaceful and silent processions.
A woman who takes care of her family without expecting anything in return, who does her daily chores without complaints and makes good and responsible citizens out of her children is a Jihadi. A child is also a Jihadi for trying to learn, enlighten oneself and be a better human. These are the people who will be rewarded by Allah, not the cowards who barge into a school or any public place and commit inhumane acts like killing innocent people.
*Condemning the Peshawar attacks.*
Oh, Music. What would I do without you !
When, and if, you see me dancing away to my favourite music, you’ll be reminded of Bridget Jones dancing to “All by Myself” in the movie, “Bridget Jones’s Diary.” But, that’s what music does to me. No company, of any man or woman, can compare to the pleasure of listening to real good ol’ music. Music is better than wine, if you think about it, because it will leave you intoxicated not just for a short while, but for ages to come. And THAT, I believe, is the power of music, peeps.
So, today, I’d like to list six songs that mean everything to me, in order of preference.
1) Lost Stars – Adam Levine
This song is sung by the extremely hot and the recently married *sob sob* Adam Levine is pure musical orgasm, at least to me. It won’t come across as something too distinctive to others, but this song is more than just a song, it’s deep, esoteric and philosophical. Being a literature post-graduate, I’m always fascinated with words, and the lyrics of this song totally got me, along with the background guitar score. Also, there is another version of the same song by the actress Keira Knightley, which is so good that you’ll have a hard time deciding if she’s a better actress or a singer. I know I’m a proud fan.
This track also featured in the movie “Begin Again” released earlier this year.
2) Give Me Love – Ed Sheeran
I’d like to take this opportunity to express my love for this wonderful, wonderful man called Ed Sheeran. This young musical prodigy has won millions of hearts worldwide owing to his raw talent, and needless to say, is really a true artist. I love all of his songs, but heard this particular one earlier last year for the first time, and it sent chills down my body. Since that day, I have loved him from all my heart. Okay, that was a little exaggerated.
3) Skyscraper – Demi Lovato
This chick, Demi Lovato is one of the coolest singers pop singers of our time. She’s bold, outspoken and outrageously beautiful. She totally rocks the tattoos and her ever-changing coloured hair, and if anyone has managed to nail the rock-star look, I’d have to say it is Demetria Lovato, hands down. This song, Skyscraper is one which pumps me up when I feel low, depressed or defeated. Just purr-fect on a bad day.
4) Blue Jeans – Lana Del Rey
Now, what can I say about this enchantingly mystifying woman. She mirrors me with all her melancholy and thoughts of eternal, undying love. I resonate with her because she too is a lovely goth like me, whatever that means. The lyrics, of this song as well, are simply out of this world. When I listen to it, I can actually picturise a tall, handsome man walking towards me, wearing a blue jeans and a white shirt; an exotic fusion of Mr. Darcy from Pride and Prejudice and Rhett Butler of Gone With The Wind. It was actually difficult for me to pick between Summertime Sadness and Blue Jeans, but I finally chose the said song.
5) Tennis Court – Lorde
I love this girl for more reasons than just her music. Firstly, like Taylor Swift said, she looks 300 years old, even though she’s 18 and probably knows all the secret of the universe. Secondly, she is extraordinarily talented, the intelligent and penetrating lyrics of her songs definitely prove that she’s wiser than her age. Lastly, she dances horribly, but still manages to look totally cute and adorable. If you loved Royals, you’ll be head over heels in love with this one, because it’s far more cool and delightful than the former.
6) Say Something – Christina Aguilera
Honestly, I haven’t heard very many songs by Christina and ain’t a huge fan either, but this song really touches my heart. It’s slow and melodious, with a little tinge of the pain which renders this song a sad, yet strangely serene quality. The piano background is also an absolute delight. This song is not one to miss, for sure.
As long as great artists keep making great music, I won’t be having any reasons to complain. 🙂
As a Muslim woman, I couldn’t be prouder to see Malala Yousafzai win the Nobel Peace Prize 2014, that too at a young age of 16.
The girl has been fighting the battle of advocating right to education for women since 2009, when she anonymously started chronicling the brutal Talibani activities in her blog for BBC. She was soon noticed and did interviews, conferences and even a documentary by New York Times.
But the most horrifying incident was, undoubtedly, when she was shot right in the head one afternoon while boarding her school bus. This cowardly attempt to assassinate a young girl was downright abhorrent, and thankfully, people supported her nationally and internationally during her critical, nearly fatal condition; instead of labeling the poor girl as a terrorist and other similar adjectives, like some ignorant people do to any and every Muslim they run into, at any opportunity they get, mainly just to humiliate or pull them down. There were, and still exist, some Malala haters, who are jealous and insecure to see a Muslim woman demand her rights, and be in the spotlight for such a noble cause. To those who believe Muslims are no good, and all they know is to propagate fear and join hands with terrorists; you all can suck it big time.
Malala’s unbreakable spirit is shown not only in taking initiative in resisting Talibani terror, but on continuing her mission with grace and dignity; with her head held high despite all odds; especially after seeing death right in her face. Any person, including me, would have been forced to give up on their purpose after experiencing such traumatic incidents at such an age, but for her to carry on with her quest is an extremely laudable act only few people can manage. Malala, a simple yet bold woman, cherishing such a beautiful dream and taking responsibility in helping others in making their dreams come true gives out a clear message that we Muslim women CANNOT be suppressed; and anyone who tries to tame us will be heavily disappointed.
What delights me most, though, is the cause that the girl championed and has chosen to fight for: Education. Muslim women, in the recent past, have protested for freedom for practising their religion, and both for and against wearing of burqas and hijabs. I might be mistaken; but I don’t really remember women coming out of their houses to fight for their rights to education, and I’m not surprised at all.
It would be wrong for me to generalize, but in most cases, Muslim women are not ambitious. Speaking from, and of an Indian scenario, we subconsciously know that an expertise in household skills would yield us more respect and acceptance in society, than a solid education; because an efficiency in domestic affairs, and carrying out a happy matrimony are the parameters we are judged on, and not on working up our career ladders and making our name for ourselves in the world. What counts as “merit” is our flexibility to adapt and adjust to our husbands and in-laws. Taking risks, going on newer adventures, character-building, excelling in our chosen fields, chasing our dreams, dreaming of whirl-wind romances’, seeking external fulfilment to render meaning to our lives is labelled as wanting too much out of life, or being idealistic and away from reality. I say, life is short; why settle for less?
Also, I feel Muslim women lack perspective. This is partially due to their upbringing, and also because of their own lack of effort and aspirations. We are taught, from a young age, that this world is a temporary residence and that our external abode is Jannah. We are travellers in this world and our sole objective is to worship Allah (SWT) and secure our places in Jannah (Heaven.) Therefore, the more you worship your Lord, the better are your chances for attaining Heaven and escaping Hell fire. You have to be as ahead in this race as you can, for good. This approach towards life is one of the major reasons for lack of ambition in Muslim women. The role and status of a woman in Islam is extremely elevated; but the duties attributed to her are mainly pertaining to family life, viz; taking care of husband and children, preserving and strengthening ties of kinship and observing religious duties to the best of our abilities. As a result, women are consumed in taking care of the said responsibilities, and their own aspirations and vocations take a back seat, because their priorities are not themselves, but others. Usually, in such settings, women push education aside, get comfortable and fail to get out of their comfort zones to make something better of and for themselves. They are satisfied “living” their religion and the life given to them, and lose out on the bigger things that lie behind the spectrum. All they need is Jannah, and they will consciously, or unconsciously, not pursue their scary dreams or try to extract the essence of life.
I have nothing against practicing, religious women,who lead such lives because some of them are phenomenal, like Ustadha Yasmin Mogahed, an internationally acclaimed Islamic speaker, who’s doing a fantastic job in spreading the word of Allah and keeping Islam alive in our hearts. I just feel that Muslim women should not bend over backwards carrying the burden of religion and squandering their lives in mediocrity and mindless pursuits; but should come alive, grab the world by its lapels, and reach out to the world.
Be a badass warrior; like Malala Yousafzai. More power to her.
The International Children’s Peace Prize – which includes a €100,000 project fund sponsored by AkzoNobel – was today officially awarded to 2013 winner Malala Yousafzai by Nobel Peace Prize winner Tawakkol Karman.
I’m inspired to write this letter due to certain incidents that happened to me this past week, which have also happened to me before. One common problem faced by girls of this century, apart from pms-ing, would be, I guess, getting creeped out, stalked, bullied and harassed by the men of this generation. Those jobless and uncivilized morons, who stare, gawk and cat-call girls, and when they are out, chilling somewhere alone or with their friends, use the most important weapon given to us by technology; i.e, mobile phones, to text, sext and what not to contact numbers of random chicks, which they’ve either managed to secure from the phones of their friends, or have just been handed by their guy friends to trouble girls. To such guys, I’d like to pen an open letter.
Dear Mister Anon,
When your number first flashed across my screen, I was full of anticipation as to who this person might be. But, after figuring out that you are someone I don’t know at all, I kept my phone aside and proceeded with the work I was engaged into prior to your call. Just after 5 minutes, I receive a text message. I open it and see the words, “Hi dear/ sweetheart/babe.. How are you/ would you like to be friends with me/ remember me etc etc. The list is endless, as are the pick-up lines used by these morons. On seeing this, I grumble with irritation because : 1. You are an unknown person who has disturbed me twice 2. You called me dear/sweetheart/babe/ which you had no right to, and 3. Your pick up line is lame beyond measure and also, I hate “fraandshipers.” So, I delete your number this time for good, and again continue with my work.
But then, it becomes too much for me to handle, as you are flooding my inbox with various stupid messages, calling and pinging me on my social app multiple times. Blocking you doesn’t help too as you are again calling me with a new number. In the midst of my work, you are creating a terrible mess and I hate you for this. But then, I also feel sorry for you as you, unlike me, have nothing to do, and have made a pastime out of this because you are an under-achiever and an unaccomplished man. You have no goals, passions or the drive to undertake some worthwhile project because deep down you know, that you don’t have it in you to pursue and achieve bigger things in life. Therefore, you are just whiling away your time in senseless pursuits, trying to distract yourself from the fact that some of your friends already have or are in the process of making a name for themselves and proving their mettle, whereas you, as I mentioned earlier, are capable of NOTHING. But hear, hear my unknown friend. Just because you aren’t chasing your dreams doesn’t mean no one else is. We girls have better things to do than chat up strangers, and you know that. Still, you do it as you feel it’s “fun.” But, you can’t be more mistaken.
Your calling/texting has no major effect whatsoever on us. We just ponder over you for maybe a minute or two and then send your calls and texts to trash, and that’s about it. Deleted, both from our phones as well as our minds. You, on the other hand, have made a big fool of yourself. Now, we know for sure that you’re a loser, who has no social life, let alone a girlfriend, who’s probably a side-kick and wants to fit in with cool people and invent awesome stories on how he chatted up hot chicks and took them out for coffee, if you know what I mean. But let’s get this straight: You are fooling no one but yourself. Not the girls that you ping, not the guys you tell your “big” stories to. Your friends probably might find you too-cool-for-school, but be very sure that you are a coward, and that what you are doing is highly annoying, and even, disgusting, depending on how far you are taking it.
Having said that, you also need to “Grow Up” and get your shit together and focus on better things in life. I’m saying it as you are neither our enemy nor do we “hate” you, as hate is too strong a word to be used for anyone and everyone. But, we do pity you, and hope that you can be a better guy than what you are, in turn allowing us to live in peace.
Girls around the Globe
P.S – All those men who text girls they don’t know, stalk them with anonymous profiles, distribute their numbers to their friends or send them obscene pictures on social media, should attempt to understand as to what really I’m trying to convey here, instead of getting angry or offended. As Lana Turner once said, “A gentleman is simply a patient wolf.” Deep down, you all know you too are guilty of this behaviour. So, I’d be glad if you learnt something from this letter instead of getting the wrong idea. 🙂
I’m a sucker for romantic comedies and books; always have been and always will be. The first romantic movie that I watched was Titanic, and the first ever book I read was Erich Segal’s Love Story. It would be safe to say that romance played the key role to instill in me the love for reading, and, watching movies of course. I have an undying love for both heart- breaking and happy ending love stories, even sad ones and plot less and pointless ones.. I love the entire romance genre, Okay? Okay. (The “Okay” thing is from the bestselling book and movie of the same name, The Fault in our Stars, which I’m completely obsessed with. A movie which EVERYONE cried watching, except maybe for those stone-hearted and stoned jerks. Lol.)
Anyways, I have no reason to mislead you by giving the title as Silver Linings Playbook and discuss The Fault in Our Stars. And anyways, I watched SLP a few days ago and since then, I can’t wait to brag about it to anyone and everyone who cares, or even those who don’t. Believe me when I say, I take my favorite books and movies very, very seriously.
The Silver Linings Playbook is based on the book by the same name, written by Matthew Quick. It stars Bradley Cooper (Boy, he is so pretty I want to cry) and the super-awesome Jennifer Lawrence, my own personal favorite. The plot revolves around Pat Solatano (Bradley Cooper) who suffers from bipolar disorder and is released from a psychiatric hospital and has moved in with his parents, determined to fix himself with the help of therapy and medications so as to win back her estranged wife, Nikki. His friend Ronnie introduces him to Tiffany Maxwell (J. Law.), his sister-in law on a dinner. Tiffany is a widow who has lost her cop husband, Tommy, to a car accident. She’s moody and depressed, even slightly mean. Their meeting was supposed to be the meet cute, but it’s actually the meet hot as Pat can’t help checking her out. But I don’t blame him for that. She’s so gorgeous I find myself checking her out sometimes, lol. As both of them are going through a hard time in life and have similar psychological problems, they connect, though their friendship is tumultuous and an odd one. But the best part was that they stood with each other where it really mattered.
Anyways, I’m not reviewing the movie, so I’m only going to discuss the parts which I liked in the movie, which primarily consists of Tiffany Maxwell. Jennifer Lawrence has nailed it in portraying the subdued grief, loneliness, anguish and edginess of a young widow, who is misunderstood and a misfit. She is unabashed and isn’t ashamed about who she is, what her choices are and what people think of her. She loses her job by sleeping with everyone in her office (11, to be precise, women included.) She is original down to the core and hates hypocrites and judgemental people. The one dialogue of her which I absolutely loved in the movie is when Pat gets fed up of her following him around, and calls her a big slut. This is how she responds back:
“I was a big slut, but I’m not anymore. There’s always gonna be a part of me that’s sloppy and dirty, but I like that, with all the other parts of myself. Can you say the same about yourself, fucker? Can you forgive? Are you any good at that?”
This is not just a dialogue, but a powerful statement as well and calls for reflection. Forgiveness is indeed a virtue; and poets, philosophers and authors have been stressing on it since forever. But where forgiveness comes in, it’s always about forgiving others, be it due to religion or about freeing oneself of emotional baggage and letting it go. But people seldom think about forgiving themselves of the wrong they did to others. I know people who repent to God for the mistakes they made along the way, which they think of as sins. I believe, no matter what the magnitude of your errors, you deserve happiness, instead of consistently taking guilt trips about what you did and how it is in front of God’s or other’s eyes. If you managed to take care of the mistake, it’s good, and if you couldn’t, it still is OKAY. God will forgive you, because His mercy is far bigger than your sins. For you to be truly compassionate and kind to others, you have to be kind to yourself first. You find the strength to forgive others only when you forgive yourself. And forgiveness is a gradual process, which is preceded by acceptance. Accepting oneself and one’s flaws is the first and most crucial process towards forgiving oneself. Then comes loving yourself. Love those imperfections of yours because, well, you are unique. There is no one like you on planet Earth, and that itself calls for celebration. When you have one of those days, you can at least think about how unique and awesome you are, and no one can be like you, not exactly anyway 😀
So, the cycle goes: Accept Yourself -> Love Yourself -> Forgive Yourself -> Forgive Others
Now, I am not entirely biased towards Tiffany. Who can sideline Bradley Cooper, and Pat is aanywaycentral to the story. Apparently, Pat’s wife had cheated on him with a colleague. Pat finds them both in the shower and he nearly beats the guy to death and is thus hospitalized. But after his release, he’s a changed man. He prefers to rely on therapy, exercise and reading books than medications to transform himself and get better. And his positive attitude is indeed commendable. His personal motto is:
“Excelsior. It means : I’m gonna take all this negativity and use it as a fuel and I’m gonna find a silver lining.”
He also believes something which is full of conviction and true to life:
He gives a fair token of gratitude at the end of the movie:
“The world will break your heart ten ways to Sunday. That’s guaranteed. I can’t begin to explain that. Or the craziness inside myself and everyone else. But guess what ? Sunday’s my favorite day again. I think of what everyone did for me, and I feel very lucky.”
And lastly, the best part of the movie for me; when he finally realizes that there were all the signs and that Tiffany was the one for him:
This movie may not be like the clichéd love stories, but it is something out of the box and not one to miss. Pat is an inspiration with a brilliant motto and that there are no silver linings when you spend your day in bed; and that you will undoubtedly receive the best when you are your best self. And Tiffany, well, she is a perfect role model for women who are ashamed of their bodies, their image and their actions. She is superbly crazy, but she manages to pull out of her own grief and selflessly helps a man to become who he was meant to be. That counts for something, doesn’t it ? 🙂
I came across this post long back and absolutely loved it, for I love anything and everything about literature. Besides, I might not sound very ladylike saying so, but I do have a thing for slangs, curses and insults; and intend to learn all the good ones from every language. 😀
For now, I’m hooked to the literary ones, some of them posted below:
When faced with someone else’s incomprehensible slang:
“Well, well, well, well. If it isn’t fat, stinking billygoat Billy-Boy in poison. How art thou, thy globby bottle of cheap, stinking chip-oil? Come and get one in the yarbles, if you have any yarbles, you eunuch jelly thou.” – A Clockwork Orange, Anthony Burgess
To liven up a dull conversation:
“If your brains were dynamite there wouldn’t be enough to blow your hat off.” – Timequake, Kurt Vonnegut
For telling someone to get lost, but nicely:
“I desire that we be better strangers.” – As You Like It, William Shakespeare
For when someone is quite below your notice, and you want to let them know:
“He is simply a hole in the air.” – The Lion and the Unicorn, George Orwell
For dispelling any illusions:
“Don’t fool yourself, my dear. You’re much worse than a b itch. You’re a saint. Which shows why saints are dangerous and undesirable.” – The Fountainhead, Ayn Rand
For disagreements over Magic cards/games of Dungeons and Dragons/cosplay:
“The man is as useless as nipples on a breastplate.” – A Feast for Crows, George R.R. Martin
For morons (read: everybody):
“I told him he didn’t even care if a girl kept all her kings in the back row or not, and the reason he didn’t care was because he was a goddam stupid moron. He hated it when you called him a moron. All morons hate it when you call them a moron.” – The Catcher in the Rye, J.D. Salinger
When only the juiciest alliteration will do (or when cursing out children):
“You blithering idiot! … You festering gumboil! You fleabitten fungus! … You bursting blister! You moth-eaten maggot!” – Matilda, Roald Dahl
For someone who thinks they’re better than you:
“This liberal doxy must be impaled upon the member of a particularly large stallion!” – A Confederacy of Dunces, John Kennedy Toole
For bitter arguments in Parisian bars:
“I misjudged you… You’re not a moron. You’re only a case of arrested development.” – The Sun Also Rises, Ernest Hemingway
For proving that you are far loftier than your opponent and (channeling Downton Abbey‘s Dowager Countess):
Cecily: This is no time for wearing the shallow mask of manners. When I see a spade I call it a spade.
Gwendolen: I am glad to say that I have never seen a spade. It is obvious that our social spheres have been widely different. – The Importance of Being Earnest, Oscar Wilde
When only the most cinematic and recognizable insult will do:
“My dear, I don’t give a damn.” – Gone With The Wind, Margaret Mitchell
When you want to cut to the core as quickly as possible:
“You’re not worth the trouble it’d take to hit you. You’re not worth the powder it’d take to blow you up. You’re an empty, hollow, fucking shell of a woman…” – Revolutionary Road, Richard Yates
For long evenings of verbal sparring:
“In my mind, Martha, you are buried in cement right up to your neck. No… right up to your nose… that’s much quieter.” – Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf, Edward Albee
When you need the ultimate insult:
“Critic!” – Waiting for Godot, Samuel Beckett
For insufferable suck ups:
“She would of been a good woman… if it had been somebody there to shoot her every minute of her life.” – “A Good Man is Hard to Find,” Flannery O’Connor
When you’ve finally decided to say what you’re thinking:
“You bloody old towser-faced boot-faced totem-pole on a crap reservation.” – Lucky Jim, Kingsley Amis
For theoretical disagreements that you’d really like to turn into personal attacks:
“It’s a nasty view of things, Gerald… and no wonder you are afraid of yourself and your own unhappiness.” – Women in Love, D.H. Lawrence
For that moment that comes in every young man’s life when he needs to quit his band and get a job:
“Barry, you’re over thirty years old. You owe it to your mum and dad not to sing in a group called Sonic Death Monkey.” – High Fidelity, Nick Hornby
When nothing else has worked, and only a sheer avalanche of adjectives will suffice:
“Thou art a base, proud, shallow, beggarly, three-suited, hundred-pound, filthy worsted-stocking knave; a lily-liver’d, action-taking, whoreson, glass-gazing, superserviceable, finical rogue; one-trunk-inheriting slave; one that wouldst be a bawd in way of good service, and art nothing but the composition of a knave, beggar, coward, pandar, and the son and heir of a mungril b itch.” – King Lear, William Shakespeare
Courtesy : Emily Temple, Sept 13, 2012.
P.S This is a work of genius ! Very entertaining !